The disciplines

For ninety days a man gives up some comforts and takes up some habits, so there's more room for God. The Church has always described that work in three parts: prayer, fasting and almsgiving.

This page explains each one and the range of ways men live it. It isn't a checklist. Your fraternity will agree on its commitments together, and your spiritual director knows your life better than any website.

Prayer

Prayer is the center of the whole journey. The other disciplines clear space, and prayer fills it.

The principle: a fixed time, a fixed place and real silence, every day, even when it feels dry.

How men live it

• A daily block of quiet prayer. Many men start around twenty minutes and grow toward an hour.
• The day's reading from Exodus, slowly, then a few minutes asking what it says to you.
• A short examination of conscience before bed.
• Mass during the week when you can, and Confession regularly.
• The Rosary or another prayer from the Armory.

Fasting and self-denial

Every comfort you reach for without thinking is a small master. Fasting shows you which ones have a grip on you, and it trains your will to choose God when it costs something.

The principle: give up things you'd normally reach for, consistently, and offer each "no" to God.

How men live it

• Food: simpler meals, no snacking or sweets, and fasting on set days of the week.
• Drink: setting alcohol aside for the whole ninety days is common.
• Screens: cutting entertainment TV, streaming, video games and social media, and using the phone only for what's needed.
• Comfort: small physical sacrifices, like cold showers or a harder bed.
• Body: regular exercise, treating the body as a temple rather than a comfort to indulge.

Almsgiving and charity

Self-denial that ends with yourself turns sour. What you give up should make room to give to others.

The principle: turn the time, money and attention you free up toward the people God has put in front of you.

How men live it

• Giving the money you'd have spent on drinks, takeout or entertainment to your parish or the poor.
• Turning screen time into time with your wife and children, fully present.
• Serving at your parish, or helping a neighbor or a man who is struggling.

Brotherhood

Men who walk alone tend to quit. A small group of men, meeting every week and checking on each other in between, is what carries most men to Day 90.

• A weekly meeting of three to eight men to pray, share honestly and recommit.
• One brother you check in with during the week, who will ask the hard question.
• Leaders can find meeting outlines and check-in prompts on the leader page.

Your own commitments

Write down your own commitments in each area, agree on them with your fraternity, and keep the list where you will see it every morning. Around Day 30 and Day 60, sit down with a brother, look back honestly, and adjust.